trying to find inspiration when you seem to have lost trying to find that one moment of truth where you can confront yourself and ask what you want why are you behaving like this or may be why are you like this or just why are you stuck.
many a times you just dont know where the answer is or where to find it or may be you are just clueless as to what is going on. at other times the situation is clear to you you know what you need to do how you need to do and yet somehow you dont. you just lack the energy you have the motivation but thats just not enough to push you through.
does this all make sense guess not but may be it does but then who can really tell, when the person who is himself going through all this cant tell the difference how can anyone else. or wait is there any logical explanation to all this ? or is this plan of some great story? good lord if it is so then why is it so or if its not then why the hell does these scenarios exist?
questions hustle through your mind …you try to tackle them solve them but as you start one the next one pops up you try to solve the other but the next one pops …the cycle just continues and you are left with a heap of questions all having some sort of answers or may be just beginning of the final answer..but in reality all unanswered questions.
mind is such a thing so unpredictable so much messy but also clear and organized . may be am accessing the wrong area of the mind at the wrong time or may be the wrong chemical is being secreted at the wrong place ? dont know or wait may be i know and its just that i cant see it . may be the answer is right in front of me and am just looking past it and searching it among all the unanswered questions.
chaos confusion and yet clarity and peace …what a situation …. one coin two sides but none is facing the ground and the coin seem to be spinning and just not ready to stop yet.
guess what needs to be done is shut down the system and reboot it…may be by the time the setup reboots the coin has stopped spinning and hass settled …maybe the clear perception emerges on top and may be the sunray shines through my window.